You Know When Your Severely Dyslexic When You Spell Server As Survey

Tempur-pedic mattress. Easy word to read, right? WRONG, WRONG! Let us pretend tempur-pedic is the name of my ex-boyfriend, which entitles me to have a bitch session about them. I was in my comedy writing class and someone had just written a sketch about a couple fighting at a tempur-pedic store. Another girl and I were auditioning for the part of the insecure wife. You might be wondering how a dyslexic does a cold reading? The answer is to pray. Pray to god that you go second, so you can hear someone read it first. After the person reads, a dyslexic must repeat every single word in their head.  When the person stumbles upon a word that a dyslexic feel they might have trouble reading, you memorize the shit out of that word. Well at least memorize it for 3 minutes until it's your turn. The problem I had was there were two words I had to memorize. I knew I wouldn't be able to read the name Clark, or tempur-pedic. I felt like Leonardo Dicaprio in the movie Aviator, when he aggressively washes his hands while repeating the way of the future, the way of the future. Instead of being Howard Huse, a genius and an OCD freak in the 1920's, I was in the twenty-first century, sitting in a classroom repeating the words Clark, Clark, tempur-pedic, tempur-pedic, while my face represented an old man trying to get rid of a kidney stone.

Then the dyslexic was up for bat. Right out of the gate, I pronounced Clark perfectly. In fact more then once, but then that bitch tempur-pedic approached the page. All of those tutors and sounding out games wouldn't help me here. At first I tried mumbling over the word, which I usually do when I don't know the words in the horoscope app on my phone. After I tried mumbling the word a few times I knew an actually word had to come out of my mouth. I started to think of other long words that started with a T, so tempur-pedic came out as tranquilizer. Thankfully the girl who had just read the script, whispered to me it's tempur-pedic. Then I corrected myself and said tempur-pedic as I looked up and started laughing. I looked around the room and instead of people laughing with me, I only received looks of embarrassment. At this point I wouldn't even mind if they were laughing at me, all I wanted was some type of laughs. The best part out of this situation was when another student had forgotten to write in his script the apostrophe after the t in it's. Then he jokingly said, Sorry dyslexic moment. Listen up buddy, that cannot be classified as a dyslexic moment. A dyslexic moment is when you thought the apostrophe in the word it's was a stylistic choice. Yes I am referring to myself. As you all can imagine I didn't get the part. This brought me back to my childhood when I didn't get the part of Annie. Instead got orphan number six. But you know what I gave that one line my all. All that memorizing paid off because I can still remember it to this day, "Wow this place is great."