I Did Not Need To Go To Hebrew School To Know Jews Should Not Be Dyslexic...Have You Read The Haggadah?

Receiving claps after reading my part in the haggadah has become as old as Passover itself. This year I not only read with confidence, but did some of my best mumbling.  Before posting I always skim over my writing and instead of reading mumble, as a normal person would, I read it as mumba.  After sitting for five minutes and wondering why mumba kept coming to my mind, it hit me.....  "One, Two, Three, Four, Five everybody in the hometown, hometown, home lets ride, to the Rickey shore....." At this point in the post, you're agreeing with the connection of the Mumble and Mumba, but questioning if those are really the lyrics to the song? The way I wrote that was my version of the song for the past 10 years. These are the real lyrics, "One, two, three, four, five everybody in the car, so come on Let's ride to the liquor store..." If anyone ever questions my dyslexia, instead of showing them my documents I should compare my version of the song to the real lyrics. For the amount of years I have been singing the Mumba song wrong, I have also been resisting the wrong pray in lighting the Menorah. My version, Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-nai E-lo-he-nu Me-lech ha-olam a-sher (My Text) To a not to Witch-a Stand One Name Under God To liberty and Justice For All. -I knight you with the ability to laugh now.  Back to the Jew dinner. I call it the Jew dinner because for a long time I couldn't pronounce any of the Jewish Holidays. Instead of trying to memorize them I just renamed a thousand year old tradition. Names of Holidays, friends and lovers have always been a struggle for me. I could never say Christian, so I would just ask people if they Christmas or Hanukkah. Remembering my friends names were also difficult, even if I was friends with them for months, I would ask them what their nickname was and hope it would be similar to their actually names. Renaming my lovers name has always been the best part of being dyslexic. Some of the names I have come up with have been, Appointment boy, BL, Re-Re, and there are some nicknames that I will not post because they are too inappropriate. My roommate told me I need to be honest to my fans, and to be like Chelsea Handler. I told her I'll be as honest and open above my life once I have had five successful books and have my own talk show.